A blonde woman in her mid-thirties approached me out of the blue yesterday. "I just wanted to tell you that you have the most gorgeous eyes I've ever seen," she said. I thanked her. I smiled. She smiled and walked away.

Considering I'd been having one of the worst days imaginable, this touched me more than she will ever understand.

Later, last night, I stopped in at the convenience store. Bottle of vodka in hand to drown my sorrows, the older woman at the register stopped everything and gave me a knowing look. "You look sad," she said to me point blank. I told her I'd been having a bad day. She rang up my purchase and as I gave her the money, she grabbed my hand, looked me in the eyes and told me that she hoped I'd be okay. She released my hand. I thanked her. I smiled. She smiled. I walked away.

My heart was broken again last night, but bandaged in the space of an hour. I don't know if we're together or not. I don't know when I'll know. All I know is that I haven't stopped crying in nearly 24 hours. I woke to a wet pillow, my eyes crusted together. I woke in his arms. I put my head on his chest and took in his scent, knowing in my head and heart that this may be the last time ever. The dreams I had were of waking and never seeing him again. I'm still crying. He's gone now. He held me, kissed my forehead, told me that he loved me and walked out the door.

There's too much confusion in my world right now. I don't want this pain.

All I want is him, and I don't know if that's possible any longer.

I love him.

I hurt.